Thoughts to ponder… Shen and himself
Written on June 12, 2007 – 7:37 pm | by shenbrood
I don’t know how to begin but today I totally feel empty, sad and feels like I don’t deserve anything nor any person not even my kids. I try miserably to be strong, to be happy and contented… to find ways to get things done for others… but in the end I see myself as empty and sacrificing my own happiness.
People seems to misunderstand me and my intentions. I love them so much but whenever there are things that I do that they find not good for them or wrong for them they tell me all hurting things… left me and for some reason find me at fault. Why would I be at fault… I am also a victim of my feelings of things which I also want for myself… of the search that for so long since my childhood I cannot seem to finish.
I thought I had found myself… I had found my happiness but at times it seems there is something missing. Others will say that it is in God that I will find my happiness and fulfillment perhaps they are right because God gives us the security and the answer for things and events which we cannot seem to answer with our own mind and solve with our own solutions.
I must be strong for others… I must remain strong… but what about me? What about what I want? What about what will make me happy? For so many years in my life I had long for it… I had long to be just me… to be simple… and to only care about simple things… but it seems destiny has other plans for me and so… I should remain strong… and that I should do or so I hope I can do.
People say that I have changed… that I am different from the prrevious David that they know.. have I? or have they changed the way they look at me? .. or have they made me changed? Think about it…
